I’m not sure what drove PB to commit suicide this weekend. I haven’t had contact with her for some time, but heard here and there from friends who were still in contact with her that things were going well. It certainly seemed so on the profile picture she added on Facebook the morning of the day she took her life.
I was attending a final Woordfees show when I heard the unsettling news.
I’m not sure what made her decide to do this. I think though many of us have entertained the idea of suicide in particularly dark times, but at some point, there was a glimmer of hope and well … you got on with life and it’s vagaries. Somehow.
My only guess is that she was struggling and had at some stage decided that nothing or nobody could change it, “fix it” as it were. Maybe she was tired? Maybe she felt guilty for feeling like she did? Maybe her idea of what she wanted from life was not what she had attained (despite it looking ideal) and she just gave up.
Perhaps it’s that we’ve traded community for social media. That we’ve taken a wonderful support structure and been dismantling it one pointless protest post or Like, etc. at a time. Perhaps we’re wasting so much time chasing false security in money and things, that we forget that a little love goes a long way. (Unless, of course, you love your money and things.)
Anyway, I’ve challenged myself to care more, even if it is well beyond my comfort zone. And to trust that I’m not crazy, but actually on the right track.
Who’s with me? Who dares to attempt this way-out social experiment with me?
Image from: https://www.facebook.com/WildWomanSisterhood