Romance is Dead! Long Live Romance!

About six months ago, I decided to put myself through a romance detox. That has now ended, albeit a few weeks later than anticipated. I actually forgot the date I started this lark. Now I realise it served little purpose (I’ll get to those in a minute, the little purposes it did serve), and well, it just seems it was a frivolous endeavour to embark on in the first place.

However, I did learn one or two things, and confirmed a few other things.

I always thought I was a romantic, but now know I am not. I am too practical, perhaps to my detriment. This video from School of Life, How Romanticism Ruined Love, resonated with me quite well, even though I don’t agree 100% with everything. While romance, the way we see it in the movies, is a wonderful drug, it’s just that.  A drug. It’s built on a fog that sometimes lifts too late and the disillusionment isn’t always worth taking it.

I sound dire. Let me reassure you, I am a huge fan of love though.

As far as I’m concerned, comparatively love is in all probability much easier to attain and maintain than romance. It’s not easy in itself and takes guts, but once you start reaping the rewards, it becomes easier. It’s almost like a self-filling glass from which you can drink and it never goes empty. I thought of this while reading the following quote by Epicurus.

I learned that love always comes unexpected. (Unfortunately, so does the opposite!) You never know who you’re going to encounter in a day, or meet. Never. A new pet, a friend, a lover… It’s not always evident at first, but with time, things get clearer. It almost creeps up on you as the clock ticks on. Love grows or it doesn’t. It certainly doesn’t explode into being. Romance does that, and blows all sensibility to smithereens in the process.

As in my initial blog post, announcing my detox, I still believe that romance, true romance, lies in adventure. In case you forgot, here’s the definition again: “A quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life: the romance of the sea.” But also the adventure of getting to know yourself and others, basking in the weirdness of naked honesty. It still freaks me out at times, and no doubt others, but the rewards have been quite remarkable. In fact, some people have not been able to deal with this and have sadly fallen by the wayside. Hopefully this will be remedied, but it’s not up to me.

So, here’s a great picture of my idea of a romance, or an adventure as it were. On a little boat in the middle of nowhere, having no particular plan, with those I love. Can you see it? Fo’ sho’! We’ve got the snacks and supplies (ha!), we’re letting the river take us where it’s going. We’re stopping on the banks of the river perhaps to  check something out, drop someone off or …  pick up a new passenger.

Maybe a little whimsical for someone so practical, but I think that’s OK too.  You get the idea.


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